Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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