did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
