I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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