Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Congratulations! We have a period
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