What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
