he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
