i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
