i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
