dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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