I just saw a hot homeless man
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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