After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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