Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
