We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
youre lurking in front of me
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
