just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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