So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
