dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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