I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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