How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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