We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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