hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
