i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
