your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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