I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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