I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
