I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
