Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
