also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize