I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I am naked and annoyed.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
