Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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