I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
