i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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