You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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