dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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