Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
