fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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