I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
