sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
