I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My hand turned me down
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
