Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
