listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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