Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
