there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
