oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
