Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
