Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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