I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
