Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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