Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
