Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
