Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
